Bug problems

When I got up yesterday morning, there was this HUGE spider on the couch.

Check this bad boy out!

It was way to big to smash it with a shoe. I am pretty sure that we didn't have enough bug spray in the house to even give it a cold sore.

I started to panic. What am I going to do with this giant bug?

Why does he only have four legs? Was he in a back alley giant spider fight? Did he fight in some spider army, and was wounded in the battle?

I can't very well kill a veteran of some foreign huge spider war, especially since he was obviously wounded.

What if he was just a bully, and not the good guy? He could possibly be the one starting the big, bad fights in the back alley's with innocent smaller daddy long legs.

I do not know.

I can't take the chance that he is a good spider. So I shooed him out the door on to the lawn.

He will like it out there. It is all green and full of trees that he can make giant webs with.

GREAT!

Now he is trying to get back in the house.

Spiders are not allowed in Casa de Coop! From what I hear, whenever the girls would see a spider in the house they would put a pan over it and write a note to their Dad to kill it.

Well, I do not have a pan big enough for this spider.

Oh wait! Here comes Savy. She might have a pan big enough in her van. There is a lot of random things in there....stranger things have happened.

Do not be afraid of the giant four legged spider Savy! She looks pretty scared.

Dang it! She ran away.

Now where am I going to get a giant pan from? I am just going to have to have a look inside the casa to see if I can find one.

Nope, no pan...what the???

How did that wounded giant spider get on the roof???

Did you put him up there imaginary reader?

If you did then that is not fair! You know that I am only 5'4'' and 31 years old....and a not really what you would call "athletic".

How am I supposed to put a pan on it now when it is up there?

Huh? What? Call Sarah?

Yes, she IS 5' 11''....and super young, like 23....and she is waaay athletic.

Do not be afraid Sarah! He is not that mean...I do not think that he has fangs even......oh great. Now she is gone.

I can text message Papa Coop! He would be here as quick as he could and he would smash that spider!

I used to want it to live, and go on...maybe help the community, with all it's four legged glory.

But no.

You had to put it on the roof imaginary reader!

Oh, here he comes..Papa Coop is going to get that thing, and I can go on with my life.

What?!!! No!!!!

Papa Coop can not stand the sight of a four legged spider!

I did not know that this was his only phobia! Great. People do not tell me anything. If I would have only known!

Now that giant spider has scared Savy, Sarah and Papa Coop away.

I am lonely and stuck with this giant spider on the roof.

Wait....I can use it as a Halloween decoration! Then we might get a few trick or treaters even! We did not get any last year...it was a bummer.

Then I am going to have to get it down. Mama Coop will not stand for a giant, misbehaving spider on her roof.

Why spider.

WHY???